| My Life Story
As a child of the sixties, I grew up in Sydney's West in the days when life was far slower and much safer. Our mother performed the role of two parents, and what a great job she did; holding down a full-time job and raising two young daughters is definitely a tough task, especially back then. Mum played an integral part in my life and I have many memories of her and, even though she is gone, I believe that a huge part of the love she shared with us is what drives me to help others today.
Through my darkest hours, and there have been quite a few, it was her courage and strength that urged me on. She taught me many things: never "hate" anyone or anything, never lie, and always remember there's no such thing as "can't".
Mum's cancer diagnosis was the beginning of another chapter in my life, and the only sense I have been able to make from her loss, is the fact that her absence forced me to re-evaluate my entire being, and all that I could be doing. With letting her go, I gave myself the chance to move forward: to share the love I held so tightly and give back to others, what I had been so blessed to have from the start.
It has been almost eleven years since my Mother passed to Ovarian cancer and during this time, I have followed a promise that I gave to her before she died. This is my story, so far.
I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was only 13 years old and became a young mother and wife at 20. I had my fair share of personal battles ahead of me, but somehow managed to live to share. My first marriage was violent and destructive and eventually I found myself (quite literally) on the run, taking both our young children with me. For safety reasons, we were forced to change our identity after my (then) ex-husband held us hostage in a siege situation.
For some time it felt as though we were always ‘watching our backs’ and could never see any hope or sign of ‘peace’. But as fate would have it, this changed after my ex-husband was diagnosed with cancer which claimed his life that year. “Now it’s over, and through my own faith in God, I have been able to forgive him.”
Losing my mother only a few years later changed my world forever and yet, somehow, it also urged me to remain focused on my quest of raising awareness of the disease which took her life. My charity work kept changing position, until it spread onto the internet where I started designing websites and blogs with the same purpose in mind. My first website, Scent of a Freesia, followed the release of my first published book – a collection of poems, A Piece Of My Mind – dedicated to the memory of my mother. The book was picked up by Martin Management, a Sydney publishing firm, and released in 2001. With support from my local community and assistance from the Cancer Council of NSW, the book marked the beginning of bigger things to come.
I have since self-published and released four new books, consisting of poetry and short fictional and non-fictional stories which carry the ovarian cancer message which I see as a crucial element for informing women and girls around the world. The poems re-create the scene of my past and present relationships between a daughter and her mother, the aggression of ovarian cancer and the shocking reality of the fear and misery we face when losing a loved one. “You can talk about it at seminars, fundraisers and amongst your family/friends but then what? Having the chance to write and be published has helped me share the awareness message just that much further.”
The website also became home to many other ideas such as the Chat & Forum where I encouraged participation from the public. This formed a wonderful network, created a bigger following and heightened internet exposure. Eventually Scent of a Freesia merged to become Deliberately Debbie where I shared more poems and inspirational stories from all over the globe.
On the home-front, more challenges arose when my family were forced to sell our home and had to relocate several times. Shortly after, my father's health took a turn for the worse and so today much of my time is focused on his well-being as well as juggling the awareness campaigns.
My next project – my first awareness campaign!
In September 2009, with support from the Sydney Go Research Fund Organisation and some incredible artists and musicians, the Feel Teal and Dance Again campaigns were launched. They ran for almost a year and received a fantastic response from the general public, as well as getting air-play on local radio networks and being published in various newspapers.
Today the Feel Teal Club serves the purpose of supporting those who’ve been directly, or indirectly, affected by ovarian cancer. The club is also designed for the general public and artists of every industry. Together we continue to raise awareness of Ovarian Cancer: 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Across the world, the colour – Teal – was chosen to represent Ovarian Cancer. Sadly, it is yet to be widely recognised. Globally we know to “Think Pink” about Breast Cancer and this helps provide the campaign with a constant source of funding. We breathed “Feel Teal” into existence in order to achieve the same status for Ovarian Cancer.
Lastly, there's one other challenge that I have yet to accomplish; to publish my autobiography. I believe the book will add closure to the grief which I have carried, mainly because of my own denial. It will hopefully act as a guide to others who have faced numerous challenges and offer support to those who are dealing with cancer – “Every page I have written has only opened my eyes to the real face of grief, which, like denial, wears many faces”. The book deals with the painful reflection of my mother’s diagnosis, all the emotions I felt and how I blocked my own reality because denying the disease became my weapon to survive. “Much of what I write, comes from personal experiences so I am often amazed by the warm reception they receive... my army of words have followed me through much of my life, always there when I need them.”
I was twice nominated for “Australian of the Year”, in the years 2006 and 2007, and was also inducted into the Baby Boomer Divas. You can find my collection of books at www.deliberatelydebbie.com/debs_books.htm and my autobiography - Silent Denial - which is yet to be published; will be available on that link as well. As I see things today, I was given a second chance at life, as losing a loved-one can make you, or it can break you; it is ultimately your choice. There were many times where I could have quite easily ‘thrown in the towel on life’, but that would have meant defeat without putting up a fight. We are all here for a reason and for a purpose that will define our character and shape our life. Perhaps mine is to encourage others to be all that they can be, for if I have learned just one thing from lessons my life has taught me, it is to stand up for what you believe in while remaining true to yourself. |
